


Collection of Stupid, Geography-Based One-Liner Smuts

by heffalumps



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Satire, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 06:19:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12359328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heffalumps/pseuds/heffalumps
Summary: As the title implies.A collection of stupid, tiny smut satires that I wrote as a joke for the wonderful folks on the DA Discord. They thought it was funny, so I thought someone else might as well.





	Collection of Stupid, Geography-Based One-Liner Smuts

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited, unfunny.
> 
> Though I think I'm hilarious.

His magnificent splendor plunged into the depths of her Emerald Graves, the Hissing Wastes of her mouth gasping for air as his lovejuices splurted into her abyss.

* * *

 

His hand roamed across her Frostbacks, stopping to tweak the hard nubs there. His other hand grabbed her hiney.

* * *

 

His sword plunged into the depths of her Fallow Mire, reveling in the juicy moist within.

* * *

 

His Western Approach drew nearer as his sword plunged into her moist, warm Fallow Mire again and again. The wet sounds of sex filled the air around them, her mouth dry as the Hissing Wastes as she panted against the pillow. He slammed into her, again and again, one hand reaching around to cup her Frostbacks and the other traveling to the small nub deep within her Hinterlands.

* * *

 

 

Her Emerald Graves parted, and he could see the glistening sheen of arousal rising from deep within the valleys of her womanhood.

* * *

 

He sheathed his sword within her, a growl rising in his throat like the death rattle of a red templar behemoth.

* * *

 

All of a sudden, her Forbidden Oasis was no longer forbidden as his tongue made quick, delving motions deep into its depths, lapping at the sweet nectar of her arousal.

* * *

 

His engorged staff, glowing almost magically with the sheen of her arousal in the dim light of the moon, sought out the folds of her deepest desire. She squealed like a stuck pig and fainted.

* * *

 

Her Orlesian throne was captured by his roaming lips, his teeth gently teasing the ridges of her Hinterlands until she was nothing but molten red lyrium in his arms.

* * *

 

Her blood lotus spread out before him, the delicate petals of her most hidden flower open, drawing him in. Moisture welled there, dark and damp, the Fallow Mire between her thighs sucking him into its depths.

* * *

 

The sweet smells of their passionate coupling filled the room, torturous groans escaping her lips as they joined again and again, his turgid sword splitting her wet, glistening Hinterlands. Finally, they reached their Western Approach together, momentarily blinded by the dawning of their own personal suns over the horizon. White light burned in their eyes, and they collapsed, one on top of each other, panting in each others' mouths, drawing the moisture out of their Hissing Wastes, his sword remaining sheathed in her Forbidden Oasis as he claimed it as his own with his sticky seed.

* * *

 

The final frontier: the delicate petals of her crystal grace, nestled there in the deepest, darkest valley of her Emerald Graves. His eyes filled with lust as he glimpsed the Hidden Oasis springing from deep within her, running down her thighs as she met his darkened gaze with one of her own. He groaned deep in his throat, the strangled sound like the death rattle of a hurlock, as her hand wrapped itself around the senstive, turgid staff springing forth from the midst of the curls of his Arbor Wilds. He licked his lips, his mouth running dry as the Hissing Wastes as he watched her slowly, torturously, squeeze her fingers around his member, the rosy pucker of her lips drawing nearer and nearer to the tip, glistening with beads of his arousal. Finally, her Temple of Mythal closed around his quivering sword, and immediately he fell of the edge of desire, deep into the Fade.


End file.
